Recently I was having a hard time sleeping, and found myself in conversation with my Father. I wouldn't say I was dreaming, but I wasn't really awake either. It was a moment where impressions were flooding my mind and I was "seeing" exactly what I needed.
For years I have struggled with balance. For me, balance meant yin and yang, where everything in life is in harmony. It meant calm; it meant a deep breath, relaxation, mediation, quiet. Everything is still.
Wow. 4 + years of tears, emotion and prayer trying to understand balance. And there it was.
I am in a place in my life where I have to work a demanding job. I also have to homeschool. I am a mom and have to be present with my kids. I have to help and be a support to my husband as he serves the Lord. I also have to take care of myself and my spirit. There is not a piece of this that can be discarded. All are important.
Balance means moving, pushing myself and exerting energy. But balance means making sure they work together in harmony. If the chain comes lose (aka I lose my mind), there won't be any forward progress for anyone.
This means that I have to prioritize things like fasting and scripture study that can keep my mind focused. It also means that as I push forward, sometimes I will need to pull back. It means asking for help, saying no occasionally, and not being afraid of change. It means letting go of expectations. It is having an eternal perspective instead of worrying about the now. It means that sometimes I am going to be exhausted. It also means that my living room couch will often become my charging station. It's amazing what a 5 minute power nap can do for sanity.
My life has not changed and yet my perspective has, which brings peace. I am amazed at how much more confident I am about each moving part of my life.
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